Sophomore Completes 1,000,000th Hour Of River Cleanup


University officials recognized sophomore Caleb Johnson for completing one million hours of community service this semester, thanking Johnson for his dedication to keeping the banks of the Black Warrior River clean. Johnson reached the landmark this Sunday, when he completed ninety-seven hours of service before calling it quits for the day.

“Caleb has shown a real enthusiasm for keeping our waterways clean,” said Johnson’s SPE 300 teacher Jessica Scott. “He spends no less than eighteen hours a day down there picking up trash. It really is inspirational. Last week alone he was down there for something like nine hundred hours. When I saw his service log, I almost couldn’t believe what I was reading!”

Classmates complimented Johnson’s ability to defy the laws of space and time in his quest to reach his service hour goals, whether they be court-ordered or class-mandated. “To be able to fit all of that in to his schedule just really shows how impressive he is at time management, said classmate Ivan Kutchakokov. “I hear he even volunteers at the local thrift store too!”

Black Warrior River Cleanup Chairman Robert Stills also thanked Johnson for his service before remarking on just how much work is left to be done. “Despite the work of hundreds of volunteers like Caleb, the Black Warrior River remains remarkably polluted. Whether court ordered or class mandated, the hours that these students have put in—and definitely aren’t lying about—haven’t seemed to make any change at all in the river’s cleanliness. This is truly disconcerting to my colleagues and me.”

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