Friends and classmates of Rachel Swanson reported that in spite of their evident lack of interest in her repetitive anecdotes and derivate references, Swanson, a junior Chi Omega, appears utterly incapable of talking about anything other than her twenty-two day study abroad trip to Greece, during which time Ms. Swanson alleges to have made the absolute best friends of her life while being completely immersed in Athenian culture.
The individuals went on to praise Swanson, 20, for her masterful use of social media during her time abroad, pointing to her having posted 36 separate Instagrams during the period, along with no less than 5 “throwback” posts since her return, as well as a remarkable Facebook album featuring 448 photographs, which some friends for some reason felt obligated to go through and like each individual picture.
“She keeps saying the like three Greek phrases she learned, but from how out of context they are, I don’t think she even knows what they mean,” said pledge sister Taylor Simpson. “I’m just glad I don’t have to skip through her fucking three hundred second Mystories any more.”
“God forbid someone mentions Glory Bound in front of her. She’ll just scoff at them before explaining that they’ve ‘never had a real gyro’ or some shit,” lamented roommate Carrie Bauer. “It’s like bitch we’ve all heard about you getting to cook your own gyro on that cliff overlooking the Mediterranean. You sent us the Snapchat. We fucking get it.”
At press time, Swanson was still unable to be reached for comment due to her having shattered her iPhone for the third time in the last six months.