In a move the sophomore acknowledged would draw controversy from many, Chi Phi Brian Andrews proudly hung a three-by-six foot version of the infamous Confederate Navy Jack flag in his bedroom window Sunday afternoon. The Auburn Hills, Michigan native explained that while he recognized some might mistakenly feel offended by the emblem of the Confederate States of America, his sole intent in hanging the flag was to express pride for his storied Southern heritage, a pride that had fostered within Andrews during the nine month period he had lived in Alabama since enrolling last fall.
The self-described “rowdy gentleman” went on to explain that those who found the flag offensive probably weren’t as knowledgeable on their Southern history as Andrews, whose extensive knowledge of the Navy Jack stems from reading no less than three separate Wikipedia pages on the subject last night.
Clad in a “Back to Back WWII Champs” tank top, Andrews quickly descended the staircase of his home after securing the flag, rushing outside in order to see how noticeable the banner would be from the street. Satisfied with the flag’s conspicuousness, the nineteen year old began taking Snapchats of his window to ensure word got around quickly as to how proud of his heritage he is.
In what Andrews believed to be his first chance to reeducate someone on the true meaning of the Confederate flag, two fraternity men stopped briefly on their walk home to yell a few offensive slurs at Andrews, who was still hard at work photographing his display. Unfortunately, the men interrupted Andrews’ rehearsed tirade on showing pride in your ancestral history in order to inform him that they hadn’t even noticed his racially insensitive flag, but rather “Just saw your gay ass and wanted to let you know you’re a douche.” Regrettably, the two young men seemed to be in a hurry, as they resumed their walk home before Andrews could finish explaining to them why his actions represented a “total TFM.”
Undeterred by this initial encounter, Andrews remained on his front porch for two more hours to gauge the reactions of those passing by, but the Michigander was confused by his fellow Southerners’ continued use of profanities and homophobic slurs to insult him, failing to notice the polarizing flag at all.
At press time, Andrews, still confident in his decision, retreated into his home, planning to reeducate his Facebook network on the true meaning of Southern heritage while he watched tonight’s slate of hockey games.